Why aren’t you upset?

“If you aren’t outraged, you aren’t paying attention.”

Last Facebook post of Heather Heyer

Memorial to Heather Heyer who died at age 32 yesterday. She died and 19 others who were counterprotesting the Unite The Right rally were injured when James Alex Fields Jr. rammed his car into them for standing up to their hatred. Fight in her name.

(I’m dedicating this post to my friends and comrades protesting the rally, if you can spare money please donate to support logistics, the street medics, or the legal fund, they deserve our support.)

One of the things I recently was told that a friend stopped reading my stuff because it wasn’t “happy.”

Hell no, it’s not.

But I feel a profound disconnect with anyone who needs something to be “happy” to listen to it.

Because, well…welcome to 2017.

Or the US in general to be honest.

We live in a system built on oppression. Trump didn’t create hatred he simply brought it to an unprecedented high, using his office to deconstruct the protections we have and encourage bigoted acts by validating hatred with his voice and power. The Nazis and the KKK that we see didn’t start to exist at the beginning of his campaign they’re just emboldened to step into the spotlight.

Now, of course, it’s getting even worse, with the KKK now walking brazenly without hoods (the problem with doing that is that then people can share the faces that you decided to show everyone to let people to know you’re evil…feel free to click the link and share, and if you’re going to protest mask up so they can’t do the same) and driving into the crowds protesting them with the aim to kill people solely for dissenting against their hatred.

The world is and has always been hell for a lot of people, and that is a problem.

It’s not happy, it’s not good, but we should be facing it…if you have the choice not to.

In my formative years I felt like something was wrong with me and how I exist, now I know that the world is the problem not my brain, that the world is screwed up and needs to be fixed.

I never had the choice to think that everything is moral in this place and so realizing that this world is screwed and doing what I can to make it better is all I know.

The rest of you who aren’t faced by some form of hatred for something intrinsic to your existence, you have the choice to pretend the world is perfect.

However, the only moral thing is to do the opposite.

In the face of such grave injustices you should be enraged. You should stand up and fight the forces hurting and killing your fellow humans because it’s obviously something that we need to fight. You shouldn’t be clinging to your happiness by ignoring the reality of other people suffering but should use your voice to call attention to it.

To do otherwise, to stand by and let hatred happen, is wrong.

To get pissed off at us who are calling attention to it for disrupting your happy day instead of getting upset at murderers is all kinds of screwed up.

I’m not going to apologize for rubbing your nose in the system’s hatred. I’m going to stand up and demand you acknowledge the world around you.

And if you refuse I’ll know that you’re not someone I can trust, because in this era not paying attention is deadly.

It’s because people clung to their apathy that we got in this mess. As I mentioned in this post on my Facebook page An Articulate Autistic, hatred festers if unchallenged, and when you’re literally getting upset with people for mentioning the existence of hatred you’re actively hindering the efforts to challenge it.

If more people listened to Heather, if more people stood and fought this before the election, we wouldn’t be here. They wouldn’t feel welcome to do this huge festival of hatred.

But we’re here now and now it’s necessary, not just moral but needed, to stand and fight now before even more deaths happen.

Pay attention, get outraged, don’t let her die in vain.

It’s Not About You: On Performative Allyship

various "ally cookies" with frosting saying various minor actions that people do and think that they deserve congrats for, like "not a racist", "has a gay friend", and "meets minimum standards of decent human"

various “ally cookies” with frosting saying various minor actions that people do and think that they deserve congrats for, like “not a racist”, “has a gay friend”, and “meets minimum standards of decent human”, with “Good for you. Want a cookie?” on the bottom and under that someone replying “Ahhh, I love these so much.”

“Your actions speak so loud I can’t hear a word you’re saying”

I Want to Conquer the World, Bad Religion

I have written on how allies shouldn’t expect us to be nice in By our side or out of our way and how the very concept of expecting such is screwed up in Refuting Respectability.

But probably the most exhausting type of allies are the performative ones.

Performative allies are the ones who want to be applauded for their actions of being an ally.

They’re the ones with safety pin profile pictures, make these aesthetically atrocious straight pride flags (this looks like prison bars, which is where the maker of this flag belongs for designing this and co-opting marginalized people creating pride flags to make themselves seem marginalized, I explained why pride for being a minority is different from pride in being a majority in Rebellious Joy), try to claim the A for ally not asexuals like myself in LTBTQIA (yes, historically it did mean that to include closeted people, but the allies who say that now feel like they are doing such great service that they should be included in the acronym that is supposed to be for marginalized people).

And while this might be a bit of a controversial take, if you asked me which was more of a drain on my mental faculties in this era, the fascists or them, I’d pick the latter.

All of my focus is on the people who are also suffering, my fellow Outcast.

It’s not on being nice to others, and performative allies come to me and demand additional labor and get upset when we don’t appreciate their performance, call us mean when we don’t acknowledge their words.

And honestly, that’s really all these “allies” give.

Performative allies expect great commendation for minimal labor.

If you wear a shirt or a pin, decide to make our venting against our oppressor centered around you (cis person saying “cis people suck/I suck/I’m sorry for those cis people”, for example. When we’re saying it it’s us venting usually because we were screwed over in some way [and if us not being nice all the time turns you off here’s an article on why that’s screwed up], when you’re doing it it’s just trying to get cookies), or do other things of this nature which require barely anything at all, the amount of work you do (or lack thereof) is going to be noticed and we couldn’t care less about which line you’re regurgitating (hence the song quote).

 Ally shouldn’t be a noun you hold like a personality trait, something that you call yourself, but should show through your actions. Don’t try to show us what a great person you are, support and center us. Listen to what we’re saying, if it jars you, challenges what you considered true in your worldview, listen and analyze that. Use what you’ve learned to call out your own community, taking advantage of the fact that it’s not an attack on you which makes it so it’s much easier for you to handle.

Your allyship shouldn’t be conditional on praise but based on believing we deserve to live free of hatred and systemic bigotry. You shouldn’t be looking to us for praise every step of the way, cluttering threads with telling us that you’re trash (…we know, validated by the fact that you decided you needed to come here in the first place), but should be finding places where you can help. You shouldn’t be putting into focus your opinions on issues that face us but trying to make it so our voices are heard about our experiences. You should be supporting us not the other way around.

If you come to us trying to perform and get attention, don’t be surprised if you get the reaction you deserve not the one you desire. Lives are on the line, and I don’t have the ability to commend you for your mediocre actions when I’m barely keeping myself alive. Any true “ally” would realize that.

A Red Rage #RedInstead

“We are the rust upon your gears
We are the insects in your ears
We crawl, we crawl all over you
We sow seeds to see us through
Our days are precious and so few
We all reap what we are due
Under this sky no longer blue
We bring the dawn long overdue
We crawl, we crawl, we crawl all over you”

Re-Education (Through Labor), Rise Against

(Most articles linked in this piece are extremely brutal first-hand stories from autistics, pointing out horrors that are happening today. If you really believe that we don’t have the right to be angry and that we should accept all of this, read them. If you can read tales of child abuse and sympathy for murderers and still actually think that this doesn’t deserve your opposition, something is wrong with you.)

Last year, I wrote You Have the Choice. It was a couple of days before this month and it started out talking about dreading April.

But now, there is no dread in my heart, only pure rage.

For twelve years, people have been supporting a hate group that seeks to eradicate us from the planet. A group which perpetuates and profits off of stigma against people like myself. As my friend and comrade Neurodivergent K points out in I’m aware of your hate, this is a constant echo in our minds year-round, but this month it’s brought into focus, 30 days of blue lights and puzzle pieces.

This hate and the hell we face goes beyond Autism $peaks. It’s shown by how anytime one of our kin is murdered by their parents the news and society finds sympathy for the murderer not the victim, and is why the main “therapy” for autism is a torment designed to force us into becoming Indistinguishable From Peers (ABA, read stories of the horror from both someone who suffered through it and who once did it, and about its lifelong effects).

People consider us damaged by vaccines (or doctor-inflicted as our Fascist in Chief calls us) and seek to cure us by forcing us to drink bleach or turpentine.

Disabled people are over half of the people shot by police and 60-80% of the incarcerated population (an issue where racism and ableism greatly intersect).

…and we’re supposed to accept this and be nice while it is happening?

Especially now, when the President of the United States hates us and thinks we’re broken?

I refuse to do that any longer.

I ended You Have The Choice with asking people to choose acceptance.

But to quote another song by Rise Against, “I’m done asking, I demand.

Because acceptance of our humanity shouldn’t be something we request, but is a moral obligation.

I can no longer, will no longer be articulate so you don’t have to listen.

To get allies we should not have to be acceptable when the situation is so utterly reprehensible and unacceptable.

We should not have to be kind and nice when we’re being tortured, imprisoned, and killed.

We should not have to change to accommodate the world and what it’s doing to us, people should stand by our side to make the world accommodate us and not be torturing and killing us.

We deserve to be angry, we deserve to hurt, and we deserve to be able to express this rage and pain without being told that we’ll alienate people.

And if and when we do?

Frankly, I’m glad, because the people who can be alienated from assisting us even when all of this horror is happening to us wouldn’t be able to be trusted when we need it the most.

People should stand by us and fight, to erode and break down the gears that keep this system of hatred going until this month is no longer blue, until acceptance of our humanity is something that is commonplace not something that we need to fight constantly for.

I shall keep my anger and fight for a dawn long overdue when this hatred based on how we were born is no longer, because not being angry and not pushing back hard against oppression no matter who I might “alienate” is something that is morally wrong, not just through this hell of a month but onwards.

Will you?


If you want your money to go to an organization that actually supports us, please donate to the Autistic Self Advocacy Network here or the Autism Women’s Network here. Please spread knowledge of how terrible A$ is, we need it.

Wait and see? Really?

 

First post for The Outcast Post, addressing a reply to our anger and emotion that is getting on my nerves…to wait and see.

I assume when I hear this that they have to be totally ignorant of what is happening.

That’s the only way to reconcile their telling us to wait and see or to give him a chance.

I realize that they might mean “wait to see what happens when he’s in full control,” but we don’t need to wait to see the effects of a Trump presidency. We don’t need to wait because we’re seeing everything around us.

We’re seeing Islamic books defaced with hateful imagery.

(Swastikas and slurs in a place where they thought they were safe from such hatred…nowhere is.)

We’re seeing ASL speakers getting told “This is White America now. Take your retarded self and go somewhere else. Trump is president now.”

(This is just one example…I have heard multiple friends in the disability community talk about experiences they’ve had making my disability is politics article more relevant.)

We’re seeing 8 year old black kids being told to “go back to the cotton farm” and beaten up.

(Frankly, it’s concerning that that’s even part of these children’s vocabulary for insulting minorities.)

We’re seeing letters with death threats and racial slurs sent to minority families.

(Near the end of the article it says “While Trump has vaguely asked his supporters to “stop” the hate crimes, his appointing of Steve Bannon — known for his anti-Semitic and white supremacist leanings — as his chief strategist is a troubling sign of what’s to come.” More info on that insanity below.)

We’re seeing him appoint a white supremacist anti-Semite as a chief strategist who pretty much said he looks up to Darth Vader and Satan:

“Darkness is good,” says Bannon, who amid the suits surrounding him at Trump Tower, looks like a graduate student in his T-shirt, open button-down and tatty blue blazer — albeit a 62-year-old graduate student. “Dick Cheney. Darth Vader. Satan. That’s power. It only helps us when they” — I believe by “they” he means liberals and the media, already promoting calls for his ouster — “get it wrong. When they’re blind to who we are and what we’re doing.”

(I can’t believe he said that either…when he appoints someone like that do you really think he’s committing to peace? It also doesn’t matter…the hatred will persist, Pandora’s Box isn’t easily closed.)

We saw him choose a VP who supports conversion therapy.

(Click on the link. Read the utter horror it represents. That’s something that I fear we will see…even if we don’t, the hatred that represents won.)

We saw a 35 year old autistic woman kill herself because “She felt that she could no longer live in a world where bigotry and hatred prevail, where so many are bullied, shunned, and marginalized.”

(I shall mourn her loss and fight this world in her name. May whatever Gods there may be take you in, Lara Margaret Nicole Helmer. You were too good for this world.)

We’ve seen this guy who said he’d defeat ISIS get upset about unflattering pictures and his VP getting booed at Hamilton, demanding an apology even when his VP said that he wasn’t offended and “that’s what freedom sounds like.”

(Trump also hilariously claimed that theater should be a safe space, an oft derided [by people like himself quite often] concept of an area where a marginalized group can be free from thoughtless and intentional bigotry. It’s hilarious because theater, especially a play such as Hamilton, isn’t meant to be a safe space for ideas like theirs. It’s a place that challenges those beliefs and notions, not one that will embrace them.)

We’ve seen a party in an Italian restaurant literally doing the Nazi salute and saying Seig (sic) Heil.

(It’s actually Sieg Heil, but apparently Tila couldn’t spell it properly, adding insult to injury.)

And we have seen many, many, many reports of violence beyond this countrywide.

(Each link links to a list of attacks that have been happening…a lot, and they don’t all match, hence linking to three.)

We have seen all of this, and we’re not waiting to act. We’re not going to give chance after chance after chance, not going to accept this as normal. We’re being attacked, and we’re not going to wait to be victims.

We don’t have a choice.

-Laoch Onórach